Trixie Tales: The Stripper Blog — Installment 2

Getting to the bag. The Ten Cash Commandments

Hey y’all! So glad to see that so many people have been enjoying and reading Trixie Tales. Thank you thank you thank you. Strippers love things! Strippers love writing!

Le sigh, I’ve been working fucking nonstop trying to make sure all the bills are paid. It’s cool to see yourself come up as a dancer, to have places that you regularly frequent to dance, and start to be able to expect a certain amount of money each night. So many of the stripper blogs and then just some girls in the club have told me that it’s really important to set a goal when it comes to your money.

Like each night decide what you wanna make and shake that ass until you make that amount. Goals like that give me anxiety though, and also for me it’s often that you can’t really predict what the money will be like. Well maybe you can but there are so many different factors to that. I like to set a goal for the week so that way I can be more flexible with myself and account for any slow days or days when I made something unexpectedly.

Something that I feel like is a skill that dancers have is being able to identify where the money is. Being able to look at a nigga as he walks through the door and being able to be like “OH YOP. HE GOT IT ON EM.” It’s exciting to have your eyes wide open in that way and then be able to go after it.

My favorite thing about stripping is how straight forward it is. The relationships between you and clientele *in* the club is that they came to see you be beautiful and dance, and to spend money on you. Strip Club Etiquette. It’s transactional and neither one of us feel the need to feel ashamed about that. It really just is what it is.

Men love standing around other men having a rich nigga competition. The irony is that nobody is rich, not in these clubs at least, and so that is apart of the fantasy that they are living during their visit. They are getting the opportunity to be at the highest of heights when it comes to patriarchy.

“You dance for me and service my desires, I throw money at and provide for you.”

They’re having the time of their lives throwing money and I’m having the time of my life letting them.

So below, find The Ten Cash Commandments. Lol

The rules around money in the club are as follows as I’ve observed:

1. As a dancer, try and keep some ones. If you can pay your tip-in with ones, I recommend doing so. It helps make sure the venue has some.
2. If the venue is running low on ones, (which they do be) — and a customer is looking for some, ask him how much he needs and see if you or another dancer has the ones herself. Sometimes clubs charge a percentage off the ones and that can deter niggas from getting some. If you have them, just trade them in with the customer and get your money.
3. Trade your ones in as is appropriate. I don’t trade mine in until the next night. I go home first, count and organize my money, *then* I let somebody buy them from me. ALSO — trading your ones in at the end of the night shows the club or promoters, other girls how much you made. Don’t nobody need to be in your pockets like that.
4. Make sure that a nigga has ones. Either watch for the ones from the door, or watch as he feels around his pockets or his wallet. It’s okay to advertise a little bit, but don’t stay too long before he starts throwing it.
5. Depending on the type of nigga he is, you may or may not need to be patient. If he’s a nigga with big bills, he might have somebody already bringing him ones. Don’t press him. If he’s a nigga with only a few ones, still take them. All money spends fuck what you heard, but again — don’t stay too long.
6. If a nigga is watching you advertise for too long, ask him if he needs ones. He may say no. He may give one of the following excuses:

• “It’s my birthday” (right nigga so you should have the most money tf.)
• “This my [insert family member] spot. I just be in here chillin.” (BROKE)
• “I just came in here for the drinks.” (girl what this ain’t the bar)
• “I don’t really be doing this forreal. You can come with me and get some real money.” (bye. i’m not going nowhere with your weird ass. just bye)

7. If a nigga is throwing money at both you and another girl, depending on your relationship with the girl is how you should handle it. If you and sis are cool and will be cool with splitting money, go ahead and dance and then sweep it all up and split it.

8. If you don’t know sis and y’all can’t make a quick agreement to split, dance in ways that will let you push your money towards yourself. Also, let a nigga know that he needs to throw the money in such a way that y’all don’t get it mixed up. It creates unnecessary conflict amongst dancers when niggas do that. Be clear on who you throwing it at.

9. Rubberbands are your friend!!!! I band the bulk up in 100s and then keep like $100–160 in 20s (for tip in).

10. Ripped dollars are lucky dollars! Keep one. ❤

Love what you’ve done with the place, but I’ll catch y’all next time. Off to do some other stripper shit.

xoxo, Trixie.