Trixie Tales: The Stripper Blog — Installment 3
Changes Pt. 1 — From Destiny’s Child to Dangerously in Love
As I’ve been thinking about writing this post, that song from Shrek “ch-ch-changes” is just like stuck in my head. That and I’ve been seeing 222, 555, 444, all the angel numbers, all that shit for the past couple of months really.
I’m thinking about Beyonce’s evolution from working with a group to going solo and becoming who we know her to be now — from Destiny’s Child to Dangerously in Love.
I’ve only been dancing for about 6 months and there have been so many changes to my dance life that it can make your head spin. That’s honestly part of the appeal of dancing and sex work, everyday can be different. You never know and really have to stay on your toes.
I started out with one partner, which quickly turned into a group.
Dancing in a group was fun AF! Omg the camaraderie was amazing. It felt much easier to travel and party hop because there’s always bitches who are down to do something. There are other people who can look for parties and opportunities, get bookings, etc. We had matching outfits and on some real shit nobody was fucking with us. We did tricks. We ate good, we laughed all the time at each other, and we just shared shit. It was nice. We had a very cute 2–3 month run. And if I seen any of them it would be no animosity, just vibes.
Groups go sour when different people have different visions for how to get shit done and get to the money. There’s a lot of bitches, there can be a lot of confusion too. Dancing is a very particular profession and so the way 1 girl gets her money might not be how the next girl gets hers and that can affect your ability to work together regularly.
Then, I was dancing in a partnership which was also loads of fucking fun. Much easier to move around the party in and then also it’s a cool situation to realize your strengths and weaknesses in. One girl has clientele okay bet. It’s also cool as a dark skin girl to dance with a lighter girl because colorism is real, and at times they can use their privilege to help both of yall get to the money. (more on colorism in a later post)
Partnerships get icky when you’re not being open and vulnerable, sharing any issues you may have with your partner, or assuming that your capacity to do and deal with certain shit is the same capacity that your partner has to do and deal with certain shit. Where do we want this to go? Is a big question to ask in a partnership. And you can’t always answer it cohesively. Which means you might want to separate.
Thennnn, I started dancing alone and I saw myself really getting to the mf bag! I didn’t have to share no bread with nobody (which really wasn’t an issue before it’s just an unexpected bonus of working alone). I could dance if I felt like it and not dance if I didn’t want to or didn’t have to without feeling like I’m disappointing somebody.
There was no pressure to be/do/say/think whatever and then also as a dark skin girl, you don’t always want to be a light skin girl’s side kick. Niggas find me desirable in my own right and I would much rather dance for niggas who like me then dance for niggas who are only throwing it at me because they wanna fuck my friend. Annoying.
Dancing alone can get well, lonely tbh. But I have to carry myself with a certain level of confidence and think more long term about myself and my own strengths. What do I bring to the table as a dancer? Where do I see myself going? It means really buckling down and getting focused because you’re worried about you and only you. Nobody else.
I realized people love Trixie for Trixie. I love hearing people say, “OMG You really DO look like a Pixie!” It always makes me feel warm for picking a persona that really fit me. I didn’t have to bite off nobody, use their clout, their image, or their presence to be who I wanted to be as a dancer.
It was lovely and it has been.
I’m looking towards a more sexy and sensual vibe as a dancer. Being a twerk master is fun and I can throw some ass, but I want to be alluring to a nigga. (cue Naughty Girl)
Onto bigger, onto better, onto Beyonce. Ashe’
